Why, Wy and Why

My angel of a daughter is now 22 for anyone who doesn't know. She lives out of state so I miss her like crazy. I could probably write my entire blog about her but intentionally I am not. I had a life before she was born as you may have read. I got pregnant at 22, had her just after I turned 23. Not sure if it was when the condom broke or if it was "The Sponge"...did you ever see that Seinfeld episode? I didn’t plan on getting pregnant to put that rumor to rest. I never considered not having her though. I have never regretted my decision either. I am a great mom by all standards but if you'd ask me I'd tell you I am a superior mom to most people I know! It's true...I really think it! As for the dad...hmmmm...save it for the book? I am not sure if I can wait that long to write about it but for now I will just say he is not involved in her life; never has been. Not a penny of child support.

That brings me to why I am a nanny. I haven't always been. I had a million and one waitressing and phone sales jobs throughout my young life. I had lied about my age when I was thirteen to work at a Dairy Queen and had never been without a job since. I enrolled in cosmetology school when I was pregnant as a quick career fix but dropped out three quarters of the way through when I realized I would CRY if I gave someone a bad hair cut! I had dropped out of college when I found out I was pregnant so without a degree I didn’t have many job prospects. As for my baby, I didn't want to put her in child care as an infant so I took a job as a live-in care giver for a woman with advanced stages of Alzheimer’s. Her husband hired me knowing I had a six week old infant but thought it would perhaps entertain the woman in some way. The guy also just figured I needed a break and I sure did. With a new born baby however, I wasn't going to be quick to leave no matter how tough the job. Wow, was he smart! My baby and I lived in one room with a bed, a dresser, and a crib he borrowed from a neighbor. I was given a small salary and room and board sans my own expenses for personal items and any baby food. I was supposed to have nights and weekends off. Often he wouldn't come home at all though for days.  Again, he knew I wouldn't or should I say couldn't leave. I don’t really blame him though. That is a sad disease.

It was very difficult time, to say the least, caring for a newborn and a six foot tall, size 10 shoe wearing, very physically strong, woman with Alzheimer's. I had a roof over my head though in a very nice neighborhood, a paycheck and time with my daughter. I try to see the benefits and look on the bright side of life. Also, I have always been willing to do what others wouldn't do to get a bigger reward. It's in my blood...good, bad or indifferent! We stayed in that room until she was just over a year old. While continuing to work for them, I asked as my raise, to move upstairs into a vacant in-law attic apartment. I stayed living there even after we had to put the woman in a nursing home when my daughter was almost two. I wasn't ready still for her to have to be in daycare. I must stress it's fine for some people and if I had to or if I simply didn't want to be an at-home mom then so be it.  Personally, I just LOVED kids. I wanted to spend every minute I could with her. So I found a full- time nanny job for the most wonderful family in a northern suburb. They let me bring her with me and it was just the perfect job! I am still close to them to this very day. I worked for that family for four years and just as my girl was starting Kindergarten, I knew it was time for me to return to the real world!

The next 15 years I was employed by the the same company and worked my way up from telemarketer to sales trainer to mid-level management. I made a lot of money...a whole lot as far as I was concerned. I bought my own townhouse after two years. I was able to put my daughter through private school and we have traveled to many places over the years. She never did without anything she needed and had most of what she wanted. That place was like the movies The Firm and The Boiler Room and Misery all put together! They are under indictment by the Attorney General right now and just lost a multi-million dollar, ten year old, sexual harassment suit. I knew a lot about a lot of people there. They wanted me out. After a genuine injury at work, while I was home recovering from surgery, they sent me a letter letting me know my position had been dissolved due to the economic downturn. The Fed-Ex came after I had received a notice that I had to sign up for Cobra if I wanted to continue insurance coverage. Hmmmmm...Why would I need Cobra? I called human resources to inquire. I was told someone would return my call. No one ever called. No one has ever said anything to me personally.  Fifteen years meant nothing to them I suppose. I feel more used and jilted by them then I do by the hundreds of men I have dated! (More on that in a future post!) I had another year before I was released to return to work by the workers compensation doctors. Just in time to find out I had no unemployment benefits paid in. I was now broke. In that previous two years on work comp I burned through all my savings trying to keep up with the mortgage and bills. The check was only 60 % of my income and didn’t include bonuses.

I was back on food stamps, something I thought I was done with when my daughter was a baby. I couldn't stand the thought of a desk and corporate BS anymore. I tried a few crappy jobs and finally decided to go back to being a nanny. It's what I really like doing though I do not think I am with the right family at the present time...or am I?